A brother’s tale

(Disclaimer 1: The text below is part reality and part fiction. I leave it to the reader to decide which part is fiction as per their choice)

I still remember the first Rakhi, I think I was about 3 – 4 years old and my younger sister was about 2 years. I was dressed in a beautiful dhoti-kurta (My Masi dressed me in this and I remember coz there is a photograph of mine in the same dress). I was told that I will be given some sweets to eat with the condition that I have to fast till I get the Rakhi tied to my wrist. I agreed, at least for sweets, I had to. Then my masi helped my sis to tie the rakhi and after this I got the sweets, but what happened later, has in retrospect, set a very costly trend. My masi took out a 5 rupee note, put that in my hand and asked me to give it to my sister. I was told that this is the tradition. For sure my sis could not have made any sense of that currency note expect for putting it in her mouth and I also didn’t bothered – I was busy with the sweets.

The next year my youngest sis was born, soon she was taught the importance of Rakhi and its relevance et al. In the meanwhile I was taught the virtues of being the elder brother, the importance of Rakhi and every do’s and don’ts attached with this day. As we grow old, we started realizing the importance of those currency notes which exchanged hands on this day (Rakhi). My sisters began to plan what all things they wish to buy and accordingly the “More than inflation adjusted” Rakhi gift was decided. They used to argue with my father to get the required sum of money and my mother was always on their side. And I used to envy them, coz I was missing out on the gifts and was consolidated with JUST sweets.

In fact once I questioned the very idea of gifting sisters on Rakhi, and my mummy came up with some really interesting explanations. The most interesting being – By giving gifts to sister a brother is actually worshiping goddess Lakshmi, who in turn will reward me with more money. Now at the age of 8-9 years who cares for more money, I only wished some gifts for me. But I gave up on her arguments, there was no ways I could have convinced her of making me a party to this process, and resigned to my fate for this day.

This happened year after year – on the day (Rakhi) I used to wait (empty stomach) for my sisters to get ready, then with smile on their faces they would come with a beautifully laid “Thali”. I used to sit with the gifts (which was already negotiated, and there was no element of surprise) waiting for the whole thing to get over at the earliest. The process was completed with me getting TWO Rakhi tied to my wrist and some sweets while my sisters getting the gifts of their choice.

I never realized the true meaning of Rakhi, until the year 2002. This year I was at Mumbai, doing my masters. It was for the first time none of my sisters were there to tie the Rakhi. They sent it to me by post and then called me up on the Rakhi day, wished me luck and asked me to tie it on my wrist. After putting the phone down, I tied the Rakhi on my wrist. I felt something missing on that day. I felt bad, this was strange. I always thought of how not to give away the gifts and it was happening for the first time that I was not giving anything on Rakhi, still I was unhappy.

Then in 2004, I got my first job. This year my sisters were really happy – now their brother was earning. I too was happy after all now I could afford the gifts on my own – the typical elder brotherly attitude. I was thinking of buying gifts they asked for. How can this happen to me, the person who suffered on Rakhi day was now wished to do things he never wanted to do – Sometimes we behave in a completely IRRATIONAL manner. Unfortunately this time too I was not able to meet both my sisters together on Rakhi, it was a new job and getting a leave to go home for Rakhi was not possible. This year too I got the Rakhi through post, that feeling of emptiness was again there in my mind.

It just happened that after 2002 I have never met both my sisters together on Rakhi. Now when I can afford any gift they wish for, they don’t wish anymore like the way they did in our childhood. Now when I want to celebrate Rakhi not for the sake of sweets but for the RAKHI, I cant. All of us are so busy with our lives that we dont get time to celebrate this day. Its no one’s fault, and its not just Rakhi, we have virtually lost out on every single happiness of life. Well I don’t want to delve into the philosophy of “Happiness in life”, we all know what it means. The only truth is that – We realize the importance of something only when its not there!!

(Disclaimer 2: Please do not conclude anything from this, I wrote this to share my memories, and I presume most of brothers and sisters will agree to this if not on whole then atleast in parts)